Woven webs dangle loose, pull tight, and then loose again as our feet struggle to grip the floor. Kicking and screaming to release from what we were so eager to find.
Take into account exactly where you lay and pause for a moment. Stay quiet and you will begin to notice the vibration of the strings. Your breath will grow shallow as will the rest of your body. If you're lucky, you might even gain a sense of something greater, something beyond this tiny windowless room, if you're lucky.
Do you remember what she looked like? Your mother. When she released you from her arms with so much anguish and joy all wrapped together? Squeezing you tightly and taking in the smell of your hair. Exactly how she had done when you were born. She was so damned proud having you in her life for these few brief years and sad to see you once again leave.
It was hard to look in her eyes, I remember too. She reminded you of a pain you couldn't quite remember. A pain that ran so deep it made you almost pause for a second before leaving your own way. She was your mother after all and you were about old enough to start paying attention to her concerns. It mattered not, the remembrance of that day dissolved under her thrusting of you into the world. Removed from the light of your mother, standing alone in the darkness. Peering into the horizon for a sign of new light, a light of familiarity.
As you begin to move from one place to the next, searching frantically for a sense of being at home, the silk begins to drop. It trails quietly without notice. Then one day, without warning, you fall onto your own spinning web. Stages of denial and acceptance come and go as you struggle to continue on in search of the light.
If one can be so lucky as to have found a partner in their search they may fall together under their own weave. I asked you to stay quiet and listen to me because you are not alone. Everyone around you is spinning their webs, this way and that way. They too, will fall under the weight of their own search.
There is no escaping our web, and you too will one day call this place where you struggle, a place of home. You might have a child and that day will come, as it did to your mother, when you must release them from your light. Teach them everything you know and teach them well because they too will find themselves lost in a sea of webs. A search for an answer, a search for a way out.
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